Saturday, 24 March 2012

Arranged Marriages: The Rationalisation Technique

Some of you may remember a post I did last year about the time someone came to the house who was thinking of fixing me up with one of their relatives. Although this technique is a rare one, I labelled it the 'suprise technique'. One that leaves you a little bit blind-sided, especially when you are not even thinking about marriage yourself. Luckily for me, nothing came out of that meeting. Also, no one in my house was aware of the intention of these people when they came to visit us that day.

Since I am of the 'age of consideration', this will probably end up being a series of posts. Not one that will happen on a fixed schedule of course, but if it happens, then I will write about it.

So without further ado, today I bring you a new one: The Rationalisation Technique.

The rationalisation technique happens when you:
a) Don't want an arranged marriage
b) Are not even thinking about marriage yet

In this method of marriage, your parents will try to compromise with you, and it usually involves the word 'but'. Let me give you some examples ...

"I know you said you don't want an arranged marriage but [person] just asked me about you."
"You don't have to get married, but there is no harm in looking."
"I know you said you weren't ready yet but you don't have to get married straight away."
"You said you didn't want an arranged marriage, but there's nothing wrong with just talking to them and then deciding what you think."

And so on and so forth.

It is not uncommon for parents to use the rationalisation technique. This week, I got the first one. Even though I have said I am not thinking about marriage yet, and my family know that I am not ready, when an opportunity to fix you up with someone arises or someone is asking about you they will still do their best to let you know. It's like when a lawyer gets some information and they have to tell their client about it. It is a similar thing here.

By trying to make a compromise you, as the one who will get married, still have the overall power about your marriage but your parents are just trying to give you that gentle nudge. Thankfully with the rationalisation technique, you have the opportunity to persuade your family into your way of thinking and the topic of whoever asked about you will never be raised again.
There is also another fine opportunity to do what your parents want, by talking to whoever or look around, and just say no anyway. Win Win.

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Interview and Review

Hi everyone!

Here is me talking around arranged marriages and the culture behind my book at the Daily Dodo

Thanks to Laura for the review of The Bollywood Breakup Agency, and it was great talking to you   :)

Sunday, 11 March 2012

A Very Colourful Festival

This week was the Hindu festival of Holi

It is a fantastic day where people throw colour at each other - friends, family, neighbours, strangers, whoever. It is something that you have to see so, to allow you that, I have picked some Holi related Bollywood Songs for you to watch.

Although I suggest keeping your speakers down for songs 1 and 4, as the recording of some of these old songs can sound rather distorted on a loud volume

Doesn't it look like so much fun?
*throws virtual colours at all of you*

Thursday, 8 March 2012

When the day job takes over ...

When I was writing book one, I worked in the evenings which gave me a lot of free time during the days to write. It was a retail job so I was able to just go in, do what I needed to do and leave with no stresses and worries whatsoever.

At the moment I am working elsewhere on a flexi-basis three full days a week, in a job which clogs up my brain when I am not at the office. Therefore the whole writing thing has been going very slowly. I wake up early and by the time I get home I am so shattered that I fall asleep quite early in the night. I have no energy to write like I used to.

I worry about losing my writing mojo and am worried that the thing that I have to do is taking over the thing that I want to do. I am way behind on the target that I had set for myself and I wanted to be a lot further in my writing than I am now. There used to be a time when I would be on the tube and I would have that amazing urge to write something that I would scribble all over a notebook that I would always keep in my bag.

Readers I need your help in getting that back. I have got two weeks off in April and I plan to write as much as possible. Do any of you have any advice about getting my writing spurt back?